Wednesday, July 31, 2013

A Homecoming and Change

My cousin Rylee comes home in a few weeks!!! She's been in the wonderful country of England for the last 18 months. I have to admit I'm excited. I can't wait to see her and honestly I can't wait to see the rest of the Nelson family clan. I have missed everyone, very, very much. So much has changed since I've seen everyone. I had a cousin get married, cousin's had babies, and other cousins have left on missions that I won't get to see for another 2 years! How fast everything changes.

It makes me sit back and think for a moment, about when Rylee left on her mission...About where I was than.
This is me...about a year and a half- Two years ago. Oblivous to everything that would soon happen.I couldn't even dream where my path would lead me in just a few short years, or how much I would change. At this point two years ago, I was casually dating a guy, it was really more of a fling in my opinion. He was sweet, and kind but would I tell you it would lead somewhere? Not on your life.

That's when I hopped on a roller coaster of confusion, joy and well...fear. I thought I knew what love was. I always thought movie love was cheesy and completely unrealistic. My version of love came from the books I loved so dearly. I didn't read the sappy romances, so in my mind, that love was completely plausible.

William was my best friend. I often referred to him as my "Flounder" (Little Mermaid reference). I loved him but I was waiting for the feeling described in books. That rush of emotion that never goes away, that thrill. I thought than that I had to have that to be happy. It wasn't until I made the mistake of almost losing him that I realized what love really was. Me and will had that and we decided not ever let that go.
May 5 2012, I married my best friend, and it was the happiest day of my life.  Life was wonderful, everyday I saw more and more what a wonderful man I had married. We brought out the best in each other, our weaknesses were the others strengths. My family saw a difference in me before I did, I didn't realize I was changing. What really hit me is when one of my friends came and said something sarcastic and it completely slipped over my head. At first I panicked when I realized I had lost my sarcasm. In the past it seemed like such a vital part of me. But than I realized I use to use sarcasm to feel clever and witty. In a way it was kind of a shield. With Will I didn't need that anymore, I didn't have to try to impress him. He loved me, for me. 

Than comes July 8 2013, we became a family of three. The day I was married still is the happiest day I can think of but this day...This day was the most miraculous, the most fulfilling, and perhaps the most life changing day that I had and will ever have. Pregnancy and Labor are exsaughsting and difficult but holding our daughter for the first time...just makes the whole thing worth it. Addie is almost a month old now and I can hardly believe time has flown by so fast. In a way I am saddened at how fast she is growing. I'm trying to savor every moment, because I know how much I'm going to miss this. Will constantly reminds me about how much fun we will have with her though. The first time we hear her little voice say "I love you" and the first time she will hug us.

Two years ago I would have never dreamed that this would be my future. Two years ago I was a completely different person than I am now.  I wonder how different I'll seem to Rylee now, I wonder how different Rylee will be. Or  for that fact how different the rest of my cousins will be.I guess that's how  life is though, things change, we change, nothing can stay the same forever. In a way I've kind of had a theme for my life "plan for the future but live for the moment"  Every second that ticks by we'll never get back. And with how fast life is moving...I'd like to look back and feel like I didn't waste a single one.

1 comment:

  1. I want to see you and hold your sweet little angel sooo bad! I'd love to see your changes and talk and laugh. Unfortunately, we can't come to Rylee's homecoming as we'll be at another family reunion in CA--my side. Bummer. But give Rylee and everyone a hug for me!

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